Living, Loving and Succeeding

How To Enjoy Single Life

As I woke up this morning I was full of such overwhelming joy. My reason simply was because I was alive. Only a week ago a friend had died under tragic circumstances. When people close to you die you begin to value life more. You also begin to review and reflect upon your own life, asking yourself questions like ‘if I should die today what would people be saying about me?’  

Too often we are focused on what we have not got what we want now or what we are yet to receive. So much so we fail to take stock of all we currently have in our lives. If we could just do this and have a heart full of gratitude for all the things God has done in our lives, any sadness we may feel can only turn into joy. After all our lives are in God’s hands and as our heavenly father he only wants the best for us.  

My friend who died lived life to the full despite having to go through a serious illness any other challenges. She never complained. She never allowed it to stop her from making the most out of life or being a blessing.  She made every minute of her life count. She is now gone but has left a tangible mark on this earth.  She set up a foundation before she died and her place of work has dedicated a suite after her.  What an amazing life she lived.  

I tell you this story just to make you stop for a moment to value the life you have.  Irrespective of what your outward condition may be because of Christ that dwells within you, you can overcome.  You do not need to allow that circumstance to control you. The word of God tells us we have dominion (Genesis 1:26). 

If we therefore apply this to Singleness, it follows dominion can be achieved in this area. There is a song that says count your blessings name them one by one.  Count your blessings see what God has done Count your blessing name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Why do you not take time now and do a little exercise of recounting every blessing you have.  You will be amazed about how blessed you really.  And secondly how we take so many things for granted e.g. in my case, my health!

I hope I have given you food for thought. I would like you to take this a step further and to think about all the opportunities you have as a single. Opportunities that some married people are envious of!

1. Personal freedom – the ability to “come” and “go” freely without having to account to another person.

The freedom to do what you want, when you want! This is one of the most important gifts a single person has at their disposal; yet it is so often abused. You tend to realise the value of the freedom you have only when it is taken away from you or when you relinquish it. Marriage does not mean you lack freedom. It just means you are accountable to your spouse. Therefore, it is a valuable commodity for a single person. There is power and potential because you do not have to account to anyone unless you choose to.  

2. Time and space to establish who they are, discovering their “raison de vivre” i.e. what drives their life.  

Positive and healthy relationships are based on two people coming together who are complete in themselves. Therefore, in order to have a fulfilling relationship you would need to know your reason and purpose for living. There is power in such knowledge as it helps you to keep focus and not get discouraged from the inevitable trials of life.  

3. The potential for spiritual growth, learning, training and development  

Singles have all the time to discover their identity, values, beliefs and philosophy to life. They are also able to study the word and single-mindedly pursue goals for themselves.  

4. It is the season in which to establish their life map. Where they want to go and what they want to be  

As individuals, we must find the right direction and means in achieving goals. It is important that as a single person, you have a vision and seek fulfilling means in reaching your goals.  

5. The opportunity to maximize one’s self worth  

Singles most often have the ability to give their all to their chosen aspirations and in so doing live to their full potential in life.  

6. Freedom to travel, discover cultures and ways of doing things  

Singles are free to pursue interests such as culture, which widens global awareness and improves outlook on world issues.  

7. The unrestricted ability to be a blessing to others  

As a single person, you can maximise your capability of reaching out to people and not take into account certain commitments and responsibilities which married people do.  

8. The great opportunity to network and develop business and social relationships  

Single people have the opportunity and freedom to form a wide range of relationships as a result of connecting and meeting like-minded people.  

9. The capability of living a focused life – the power to focus on their vision, career, business and dreams  

When there are no distractions, you can single-mindedly focus on your career, vision and dreams. You have nobody you need to convince except yourself when you embark upon this.  

10. Flexibility in terms of career movement – a single person can put their career development into overdrive  

Singles have the flexibility to explore opportunities of travelling in order to attain career goals, where necessary. Also to be single-minded in the pursuit of their career is an added bonus. The sky is the limit because there are fewer commitments.  

The list is by no means exhaustive as there are other countless ways a single person can enjoy the power and potential of their single status. However, what this does is to give a snapshot of ways in which a single person can enjoy their singleness by acknowledging the advantageous position they are in because they are not married. The sky is the limit for every single person who understands that with God in their lives, they can do all things and in their single status, they have the freedom of choice to aim for the best.  

There is no need for a single person to enter the Valley of Regret, visit Discouragement, maintain or sit under the “Poor Me” tree. But rather to acknowledge who they are, face the facts, challenge them and change them in order to be who God ordained them to be: triumphant in every sphere of their life.  

Verse of the Day

Single Lifestyle - The Choice is Yours

As a single person journeys along the pathway of life they have to continuously make choices which will ultimately lead them to, or affect their destiny. In this article I want to look at the lives of some single people and review their choice of lifestyle and its impact on their future. We will look at the choice, consequence and the cure for each lifestyle.

Lifestyle 1: One foot in one foot out

The Choice: James is a new Christian and truly loves God but also he truly loves some of the things he used to do. Before he became a Christian he particularly enjoyed sex. Now he cannot imagine how it is possible to have a relationship that is “God’s Way”!

The Consequence: He may be the father of many babies. He may get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) and he may experience feelings of guilt and frustration, as he is torn between lifestyles, trying to give up one for the other. The most dangerous Consequence of all is spiritual death.

The Cure:   2 Corinthians 5:17 – James needs to remember he is a new creature. Ephesians 4:22-24 – He needs to put off what is of the old man

In short: face the challenge, think it through, and make that change!


Lifestyle 2: Dress to Tease

The Choice: June loves wearing the latest fashions. She has gone beyond the boundary of the decent into the scanty. She has made up her mind – she will not be an old maid! Therefore she thinks the less she puts on, the more the chances of her being picked.

The Consequence: She will not be taken seriously, and if approached at all, it will be for the wrong reasons. She has made herself a prey for abuse and/or misuse by the wrong man.

The Cure: 1 Timothy 2:9a – June can get a few tips on dressing here. 1 Peter 3:3 – She needs to find her true value. Proverbs 31:25 – The secret to dressing well.

In short: dress well, add value to your life and you will be found by a Boaz!


Lifestyle 3: The Superficial

The Choice: Byron has chosen to focus on the superficial things of life. His second name is Bozo. He enjoys presenting himself as a man of substance but really he is shallow. In depth discussions scare him…after all he might be discovered.

The Consequence: A shallow relationship. An empty lifestyle. A superficial friendship.

The Cure: Matthew 10:16 – Byron is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 1 Samuel 16:7 – Listen to the Lord, he knows the inside. James 1:8 – You do not want to join your future to instability!

In short: spot him/her… and run for your life!


Lifestyle 4: No Hope

The Choice: Jane did not actually choose to get to this point but because she allowed the cares of life to dictate her emotions, she has now lost hope. Due to no one having spoken to her in five years she can’t see the point in taking care of herself. Doing her hair or makeup is a no-go area. 

The Consequence: Whilst inner beauty is of great importance, outside appearance is often assessed first. Other consequences include depression and discouragement as the perpetuation of not being asked continues. Low self-esteem can also manifest as the desire to meet a person is not met.

The Cure: Job 14:14 – Jane needs to keep on waiting patiently for there is an appointed time. If Job had his, she will have hers. Romans 4:21 – God is not a man that He should lie, He is faithful to His word concerning her life

In short: focus on the now and develop self on the way to where you are going


Lifestyle 5: Commitment Phobic

The Choice: Maggie has not been able to close the door on a yesterday relationship. She meditates on it and thinks through it again and again. She does not want to try again for fear of another break up. She claims she is married to Jesus and wants all the ‘satans’ to leave her alone.

The Consequences: She is unable to commit to anyone and because of her fear of involvement many suitors have emotional scars for having dated her. She has become bitter and nothing can make her come out of her fortified tower.

The Cure: Hebrews 12:15 – Free yourself of bitterness, it destroys you and those around. Ephesians 4:23 – Let yesterday die and allow your spirit to be renewed

In short: yesterday is in the grave, tomorrow is in the womb, so seize today and make it count.


Lifestyle 6: Steadfast

The Choice: Joseph is confident on the way to where he is going. He knows he has milestones on the journey and is following his targets one by one. He is a good friend to all, enjoys the atmosphere of worship and serves faithfully in Church. The commitment to God he shows in church is the same at home, where he prays and seeks to know God for himself.

The Consequences: As he walks with the Lord, at the appropriate time, he will see, be seen and propose to the perfect will of God for his life. He will have prepared for her arrival and she will be the Queen of his house, a support to him. Should any difficulty arise, they will both go to the manufacturer – the source who brought them together – God.

The Cure: None prescribed. This is where we all desire to be. In short: With God as the third person in their relationship, they will live happily ever after! So now shall we say: The Choice is yours! To rejoice or to cry. To lift your head up or to bow. To live or to just exist. To live a dream or to live a lie. Seize the day, choose God’s way.